So we have finally had the opportunity to have a successful adoption placement. His name is Dillon and he is six years old (19 months older than Halle). We were really nervous and had so many questions this time about the impact Dillon would have on our family and whether or not we could handle the change.
He came to us through the foster care system. I inquired on him when I saw his picture back in November 2009. We were one of about 4oo other people who also thought he was something special. Somehow it came down to us and another couple, and they initially chose the other couple. But in May they called us back and wondered if we would still be interested in him. The other couple had flaked out on them.
After one weekend visit with him, we really felt like it was right so we agreed to take him. The three weeks it took to get him moved to our home were probably the most difficult. We had so many doubts about what we were doing and experienced everything from panic attacks to complete euphoria. Fortunately we were kept extremely busy trying to build a room in our garage to move our office to, so there wasn't too much time to think.
The transition so far has been awkward and exhausting, but when I look back over the short three weeks he's been with us, he has made incredible progress. He no longer complains about what we are serving for dinner since Neal simply explained our expectations to him about meal times. He doesn't require melatonin to fall asleep at night, nor does he require a bare mattress to sleep on. Again, we explained our expectations and we've stuck to a bedtime ritual.
My biggest worry even became the least of my concerns. I thought it would be a nightmare trying to expect a boy with ADHD who can't sit still to behave for three hours of church. Neal and I are so busy on Sundays that I thought we would be pulled in all directions trying to keep him focused. However, I realized that church has a very predictable schedule even down to how we do our sacrament meeting and Dillon thrives on that. He's been doing great.
It's funny because I feel like each one of these small changes have been little victories in our parenting experience, and it encourages me to keep trying on the more difficult behaviors he needs help with. As I am thinking of implementing a behavior plan for Dillon to reward his good choices, I wonder if Heavenly Father gives me these victories to "reward" my good choices and help me to feel encouraged and keep pressing forward. The irony sort of struck me and helped me understand how important even the smallest successes can be.
It's then that I really do feel like a child because He knows Dillon's needs much more than we will ever know. We weren't there for him for the first six years of his life. There are experiences in his past that he may not ever be able to tell us about. We are truly in the hands of the Lord to know the best way to help Dillon overcome his past and become a secure and happy little boy.
