A New Possibility

We have an adoption possibility forming that we are pretty excited about.  We had been considered for a 5-year-old boy named Dillion back in February, but between us and another family, the other family was chosen.  Last week I received a call from his caseworker, wondering if we were still interested.  I answered that we were.  We are now waiting for the decision process to take it's course with the state to know if it will really happen.

 

Their first meeting today was apparently "really positive."  She only left a message on our home phone and we didn't get it until it was too late to call her back. We aren't exactly sure what she means.  We only know that we need to schedule a time to go meet him in the next couple of weeks. 

 

We are excited about what this will mean for our little family, but we are also anxious to know what this will mean.  Who knows, but we will keep you posted as we learn more.

I Guess the Wait isn't THAT Long

Neal's business partner, Jerry, recently went with his mother for her first time to the temple. Her husband wouldn't allow her to go through while he was alive, so she waited the one year necessary after his death and finally was able to go and be sealed to him. She was in her nineties.

I think about how long she waited to have the blessings of a sealed eternal family and think to myself, "I guess I haven't waited nearly as long as she did, so I can wait a little longer." And then I think about Abraham and Sarah and I sure hope we won't be asked to raise a toddler in our 90's out in the wilderness. No thank you. I will settle for a few more years of waiting for my family. It's so hard not to worry, though, that they might not find us, but that just boils down to my extreme lack of faith.

Mother's Day is this Sunday, and although we have a beautiful, charming four-year-old daughter, it doesn't make the holiday any easier to bear. I have marked and accepted my limits on certain activities related to babies and mothers, and going to church on Mother's Day is one of those things beyond my limits. Baby showers is another place where the line is drawn. Acknowledging those circumstances that make me a depressed, self-wallowing mess and avoiding them without excuse has made life a little easier to deal with.

People are often unaware that just because we have been able to adopt one child, the pain of not being able to adopt or conceive another child is still there. I guess it will always be there, more intense at some times than others. However, I realized a little later than sooner that we all have to figure out our own ways to live beyond the pain and still find joy, or else we will waste our time waiting when we could be living.

So to that, I say "Happy Queens and Priestesses Day." To the mother who gave birth to me and has taught me so much, to the birth mother who gave us a beautiful child, to the mothers who are my friends even on my darkest days, to the mothers who are still waiting to be mothers, and to the mothers who are my in-laws, grandmothers, and my sisters in many ways. I love you all for the parts you are playing in my life.