Let's see. My last entry spoke of complete chaos in our family. I guess I should let you know how we are recovering. Fortunately, we have been guided in our actions over the past few months because there were certain people already in place who were instrumental in getting our life put back together.
1. Our service coordinator. Our neurologist had suggested him as a resource who could recommend the best service providers in our area. They usually coordinate appointments and talk to Medicaid for you, which I didn't really need. But as soon as he found out what had happened, he immediately found us a new licensed PSR worker who has worked with RAD kids. Thank heavens we had already gone through the paperwork and were using him because I use the word "immediately" very loosely. Nothing with Medicaid is immediate. The new worker is only starting to work with Dillon this week.
2. Our therapist. I'm so glad we had been going to a therapist who was helping us parent Dillon. We already had a relationship in place with him when life fell apart, and he has been instrumental in helping us get through that.
A few months ago, I didn't really feel like we needed either of these people so I can tell you that getting them involved in our life was not an accident.
So what happens when a RAD kid gets his way and succeeds at triangulating adults?
We are now dealing with defiance and rebellion like we've never seen before in him. The worst of it was over in about three weeks. We were told to stand firm in all of our rules and boundaries (which was incredibly exhausting) until he realized the rules were not changing and we are still in charge. That has worked for the most part although he does still test a few things every day. But he has also become resistant to any kind of work that requires even an ounce of energy. He decided that if he drags his feet long enough, either sister will take care of the house work or it will just be time for bed and he won't have to do it.
Enough of that. I got tired of coaxing, pushing, and bribing him to get it done, only to have him dig his heels in a little deeper. So one night he had 5 jobs to do that would have taken less than 30 minutes to finish (factoring in goofing off between each one). It took him an hour and a half to just take out the garbage. I decided that bed time could wait until he was done which wasn't until 12:45am (six hours later). His field trip to Lagoon the next morning required him to get up at 5:30 so he was really tired that day. Jobs are now pre-assigned instead of a group effort, but I have yet to confirm if one lesson was enough to send the message. I'm guessing we will still have a few more late nights ahead of us.
He is also still overreacting any time he gets a scrape or a bruise – and let me reiterate that they are ALL self-inflicted. If he gets enough attention from it, he will literally whine all day about it. I've never seen a kid have so much stamina for crying, and his sister is really good at conjuring up fake tears. This problem has greatly hindered learning to ride his bike without training wheels. He won't even make it onto the bike before he scrapes his leg on a pedal and completely melts down and gives up.
Next stop – second grade in less than two weeks. Heaven help us all as we plow through yet another life transition before this one is even over.
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